Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
