I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
