Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
