Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
