I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
