the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
