I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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