i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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