dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
