just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
