some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
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We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
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i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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