I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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