East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
