Can i not drive my cunt home
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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