White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
