your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
