I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
