He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
