me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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