I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
