i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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