saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
