just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
