if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
