He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
