She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
