Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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