Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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