i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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