i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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