David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
