I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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