You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
