u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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