hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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