he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
