that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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