I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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