no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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