I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
