Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
