Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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