Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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