you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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