Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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