have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
