He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize