Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize