All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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