No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
