erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
