the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
