My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
