if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
