Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
