Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize