if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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