forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
