She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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