Bisexual people are plain selfish.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
