guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
