I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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