vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
